March 2025 Newsletter

Go ahead. Say it. “You’re being nostalgic.” “You’re getting old.” “You’re becoming soft.” Well, you can say what you want but I’m just here to point out facts and truths and help you along in your own lives. This has nothing at all to do with our son, who is graduating this year, and our daughter, who only has two years left of school. What seems eons ago, wise patients of ours (many many patients) told us that we would reach a point in our lives and the kids’ lives where time hits warp speed and it only seems to accelerate infinitely. We are now at this point. So I will tell you what these wise patients told us: enjoy your time with your kids because there will be a point where you will not be able to do it to the extent you wish you could. While I have no real regrets in regards to this, I always think I could have spent more time.

Now you can also say (and I NEVER have said this myself) “yeah yeah yeah, I know, I know, go to the park more, go swimming more, go on holidays more together, etc.” but it is something you want to think about more the more you hear it.

Since the day our child is born, it feels like we have an eternity with them. But when you divide the numbers up, the time we actually spend with our kids before they are 18 and possibly move out is much less than we might think. Eighteen years sounds like a lot but when you break it down, it really isn’t. In the early years, we’re with our kids almost every waking moment. But as they age, they are less needy and life responsibilities (work, school, after-school activities) begin to chip away at that time.

Assume your child is awake for about 14 hours a day. If you work full-time, commute, and manage day-to-day tasks, you may actually have only about 3 to 4 good hours with them on weekdays. That’s 15-20 hours a week. Weekends provide additional time, but even those become filled with sports, homework, and social activities that reduce quality family time. Add it all together, and by the time the child reaches age 18, you’ve shared 3,000-4,000 full days. Place that against the potential 25,000+ days of their life and it becomes immediately clear that the years of a child are merely a fraction of their overall journey.

What’s even more shocking is that all of this time is upfront. It’s been estimated that parents spend around 75% of the total time they’ll ever spend with their child when they’re 12 years old. When they reach high school, their lives become busy and the days of simply hanging out together become fewer and farther between.

By the time they head off to university or adulthood, the dynamic shifts. You see them only during holidays, summer holidays, or the odd visit; perhaps a few weeks out of an entire year. The everyday interactions (dinner table conversations, nighttime stories, weekend excursions) become memories and not a reality. It is a bitter truth that we have so much less time with them than we may imagine.

So, then what do we do with it? That time is valuable shouldn’t engender panic, but a sense of intention. Here are a few tips to live intentionally within the time that we have:

• Prioritize presence over busyness – Put down the phone, step away from distractions, and engage in meaningful conversations.

• Create traditions – Simple rituals like Friday night pizza, weekend hikes, or bedtime stories can become cherished lifelong memories.

• Be involved – Show up to their games, help with school projects, and take an interest in their hobbies.

• Plan quality time – Whether it’s family vacations or just a game night at home, plan for moments of connection.

• Embrace the everyday – Not every moment needs to be grand. The little things—like driving them to school or making breakfast together—often become the most meaningful memories.

• Make family meals a priority – Treat dinner time as sacred. Even if it’s takeout or leftovers, gathering around the table fosters connection and stability.

It’s easy to assume we have endless time but childhood moves faster than we realize. The days may feel long but the years are undeniably short. By recognizing the limited time we truly have with our children, we can be more intentional, present, and appreciative of each moment!